Intactivists are Dicks–and Crybabies too!

Intactivists didn’t get their way and now they’re throwing an epic tantrum that would even make Veruca Salt stop and say, “Wow, you’re a spoiled fucking brat.” Not because they care about Chase, the child in the middle of the battle between his mother, Heather Hironimus, and his father, Dennis Nebus. They are losing their collective shit because they care more about dick skin and attention-seeking than actual, real-life, living, breathing, children.

I’ve written about the loathsome internet creatures called intactivists before here:

Intactivists are a group of melodramatic nutcases that claim to care about children and their human rights. They make anti-vaxxers look like scientific, logical and rational human beings. The Hironimus/Nebus case proves that all they care about is furthering their agenda and garnering attention for the lunatics that lead this fringe movement.

For all who don’t know what is going on in the Heather Hironimus case, here is a quick summary. I really don’t want to get into the rights and wrongs of the case, circumcision or the parents. I do want to make this blog post’s focus the hilarious, histrionic reaction of the vile windbags whom call themselves intactivists.

Heather Hironimus signed a parental agreement when Chase was born, agreeing he be circumcised as an infant. She changed her mind and tried going to the courts, dragging out the process and stalling the procedure. Chase is now 4. The courts upheld the legal document she signed and sided with the father, ordering her to consent to the procedure. Intactivists convinced her to flee with Chase and go into hiding. She took him to a battered women’s shelter and claimed the father abused her. The judge told her to sign the consent form or face jail time. She was arrested, and faced with losing custody as well as a jail sentence. Her lawyer convinced her to sign the papers. Intactivists are now pissed off.

Chase’s father, Dennis Nebus, has refused to publicly discuss the case or the decision to circumcise his son. Much of the information we see on the internet is skewed to the mother’s and intactivists’ favor because of this. The mom was ordered not to discuss the procedure with Chase. She told him his daddy wanted to cut his penis off. He is now terrified of the operation (of course) and the intactivists are waving around “Chase said no! His bodily autonomy is being ignored!” while ignoring the fact he probably wouldn’t be so scared if they didn’t fill his head with their hysteria and nonsense in the first place.

The intactivist leader, who legally goes by the name Brother K (because he fancies himself a civil rights and human rights activist), goes around the country parading his red-paint stained crotch. The following is the extent of his human/civil rights activism.

Looks like you need to switch to a stronger absorbency tampon, Mr. K.

Looks like you need to switch to a stronger absorbency tampon, Mr. K.

Dred Scott is spinning in his grave.

Dred Scott is spinning in his grave.


I can’t. I have no words.

Brother Kook and the rest of his intactivist sycophants latched on to this case and exploited Heather and Chase. They encouraged her to break the law, kidnap Chase, and hide out in a battered woman’s shelter–taking up valuable bed space from someone who is an actual victim of domestic abuse. They also raised money to get Heather an attorney, Thomas Hunker. However, when the attorney acted in his client’s best interests, (what a good attorney is supposed to do) and not in the interests of the intactivists (publicity stunts and attention-seeking), the intactinuts stomped their feet and flailed their arms like the attention-seeking, crybaby, narcissistic children they are.

Her attorney acts on her behalf, not yours

Her attorney acts on her behalf, not yours. Not one needs to confer with you so that she can get custody of her son back.


So it’s a conspiracy, Mr. Kook?

That is her attorney, not yours! For someone who oputs himself on par with civil rights leaders, you sure don't know shit about how the American justice system works.

For someone who puts himself on par with civil rights leaders, you sure don’t know shit about how the American justice system works. That’s HER attorney!


Come at me bro!

Now that's a rational response!

Now that’s a rational response!

Hoping a 4 year old dies and becomes a martyr for your cause. Because you totally care about kids, right?

Hoping a 4 year old dies and becomes a martyr for your cause. Because you totally care about kids, right?

So you would never see your child again if he got circumcised? Do you even care about your child or are you just an idiot?

So you would never see your child again if he got circumcised? Do you even care about your child or are you just an idiot?

So Hairy Hollie, you admit it was never about Chase or his mom and all about your foreskin worship.

So Hairy Hollie, you admit it was never about Chase or his mom, and it was about your foreskin worship all along?

Intactivists proved with the Hironimus/Nebus case that they care more about penises than the people attached to them. This is why intactivism is an extremely flawed movement and intactivists should be ignored, no matter how loud they scream or how red they paint their crotches.


How To Recognize a Cause Troll.

I posted here before regrading the stupid things mommies argue about on Facebook. Some of these arguments can get very heated and some moms get hurt in the process when their parenting choices are belittled, especially when they feel ganged up on. In the real world, these arguments/discussion rarely ever happen, but on the internet they happen with amazing frequency and ferocity. I understand some parents are genuinely interested in these topics, while others just want to get all self-righteous because they’re bored with nothing better to do. But there is a particular element of these debates and discussions that is disingenuous and disheartening–The Cause Troll™.

These trolls don’t care about legitimate causes like curing cancer or ending poverty. They care about controversial issues such as vaccination, circumcision and extended breast-feeding. They only exist to get their agenda across and often use misinformation and propaganda in the process. I have come up with a list of criteria that makes a person a cause troll. Once you have spotted a cause troll in a particular thread, it is just as important to out them because they will continue their vicious fraud if not called out.

Criteria of a Cause Troll (Individually, they do not necessarily make the person a cause troll, but when they fit several of the criterion on the list, they are a Cause Troll)

1) You’ve seen them before. That profile and name look familiar and you’ve seen them on other mommy pages “debating” the classic controversial topics for mommies. Trust your instincts. Take a few minutes to go through the checklist!

2) They like to start “conversations” in groups or pages regarding said cause, but these conversations become rather one-sided. They come across as nice and genuine at first in these conversations, trying to get people on their side, but then you realize they are pandering. If they continuously and repetitiously post a counter to every comment that doesn’t agree with their cause, they could be a Cause Troll. They might also call in a few reinforcements.

3) Their FB cover and profile pic is dedicated to their cause. I am pro-vax and pro-science. I’m anti-religious indoctrination. My FB covers and profile pictures are not dedicated to these causes. If you see someone with a cause based profile pic and cover photo, this means they want their cause to be known to the world and want you to know they are very active with that cause.

4) An unusually large amount of page likes are dedicated to their cause. I like a lot of things. Not just pro-vax pages or science pages. I like George Takei. I like Animals with No Necks. I like Randy Watson of Sexual Chocolate. If someone has a large amount of likes dedicated to one controversial cause, they are most likely a Cause Troll.

5) Public posts regarding their cause that you can see without being their friend. Most of the stuff on my profile is private. People can see a few things, but my wall is completely on lockdown. I don’t feel comfortable letting people I don’t know seeing what I post, even if it is a bunch of cats in silly hats. However, if you’re a cause troll, you want the whole world to know you work for that cause.

6) A post/picture complete with an arrow that says “Ask me about ______” (Fill in controversial cause). This is pretty self-explanatory. “Ask me about ________…” translates into, “I will just tell you my side of the issue and fail to back it up with anything scientific. In fact, I might even stretch the truth to get you to believe what I believe.

For educational purposes, I have included a screen shot of a Cause Troll’s profile, complete with numbers labeling the criteria of why it is a Cause Troll profile. I am protecting her identity not because she has any right to privacy, since her page is public, but because I feel sorry for her kids.


1) Profile pic wearing cause T-shirt.

2) Cover photo dedicated to cause complete with “facts” that have no scientific basis or are even cited, but a reference to causes’ website.

3) “Ask this person about _______” pic. 3b. One controversial mommy cause tied into another. (Circumcision harms breastfeeding, um…okay.)

4) Public Post (not the only one on this person’s wall) that is visible to non-friends about said cause.

5) (Not pictured) Several likes dedicated to her pet cause, as well as other related controversial causes. (Breastfeeding, GMOs, Homeschooling)

6) In one of her photos, her daughter (who looks to be about 6 years of age) is at an “intactivist” protest/event holding a sign for mommy’s cause du jour. In the comments, one sane person asks, “Was it her choice to hold the sign?”, to which this sanctimonious nut-job replied:

Yes, it was. She asked to have something to hold. She sees me doing it with the Intact Georgia wagon and emulates the behavior. She has a great understanding of encroachment and the non-aggression principle so speaking out about not cutting another person’s body makes sense to her. Last week before a bike ride she had us all wait while she made a sign that said, “Say no to ‘circimseson'” on it.

The average six-year-old with sane parents doesn’t go on a penis crusade. Mommy even invited others to share this picture. I refuse because it’s the lowest of the low. How friggin exploitative can you be? This is why Cause Trolls need to be exposed and eliminated.

So I hope I have supplied you with a few tidbits on how to weed these disingenuous fuckers out. Have you seen them somewhere else before? Check their profiles when they start their rants and don’t be afraid to call them out. I did to the aforementioned intactivist and after one comment, she stopped spewing her non-sense. With a little bit of knowledge and some work, we can rid mommy pages and forums of this horrible scourge!

Intactivists are Dicks


Proudly display this sticker on your bumper and hope your neighbors don’t think you’re a sex offender.

When I became a mom, I started liking several mommy pages on Facebook. I am beginning to regret that decision. For one, people ask the stupidest questions. When people ask for advice, and you give them sound advice because you are knowledgable in that area, your good advice gets ignored. If someone such as the original poster does not like your advice, it’s called “bashing.”  Basically, mommy pages are hives for mothers to get validation for their poor life choices and to get all sanctimonious with each other–especially when it comes to topics such as vaccines, car seats (I know, why argue about fucking car seats???) and lastly, circumcision.

Let’s get some things straight before I get some more hate mail.

1) THIS IS NOT A CIRCUMCISION DEBATE. If you post some intactivist propaganda comparing routine male infant circumcision to female genital cutting, your ignorant, asinine comment will be deleted. This is an insult to any woman who has actually suffered through FGM. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME. Maybe if you took some basic anatomy, you’d realize they are not the same.

This article is specifically about the anti-circumcision nutjobs that call themselves “intactivists”. They call themselves this because “circumcision” is a dirty word, and they want to dictate not only your language, but what you do with your son’s genitals.

2) We chose to circumcise our son, and that SHOULD NOT concern you. However, intactivists are very concerned about the penises of other children, to the point of being weird.  They post misleading and often outright lies to try to get their agenda across. And please, can someone tell me why they compare the right to have a foreskin to the fourteenth amendment of the United States?

(Here is just a sampling of the lengths these nutjobs go to. I got these responses after I told the group that I dislike the circumcision debate being brought up on mommy pages because it brings out the worst in people and everyone thinks they are an expert. Well, they proved me right.)

WENDY: No, Nikki, what’s creepy (and twisted) is cutting off a piece of another person’s anatomy against their wishes! And thinking it’s somehow your right because you are the parent. If you live in the U.S., your parents had the same perceived right to pour carbolic acid on your clitoris. Aren’t you glad they didn’t exercise that one? 

WENDY: No, hoping the current laws begin to be enforced! It IS illegal to remove healthy, functioning pieces from a person without their consent. It IS illegal to knowingly cause harm to another person against their wishes. It IS illegal to alter a girl’s genitals, and the 14th amendment guarantees that any protections afforded one class of people must automatically be given to another.

MARY: Well, that bit Nikki (last name), it IS technically already illegal. Female circumcision was banned due to human rights violations in 1996, the 14th amendment provides equal protection for everyone regardless of sex rsce or creed… Meaning the law banning circumcision is suppose to apply to male and female infants.

Bitches need a fucking history and civics lesson! The constitution applies to the government of the US, not private doctors or parents. When people crow “freedom of speech”, the 1st amendment just guarantees that your government does not infringe upon that right, not a private person or entity. I hate it when people copy and paste a groups’ talking points to justify their argument, especially when they have no clue what they are copying and pasting about.

3) Like anti-vaxxers, they somehow know more than doctors and scientists, and proclaim it loudly and with poor grammar on Facebook threads.

WENDY:  I guess Winter thinks doctors are infallible. I feel sorry for her, as she’s going to acquiesce to a lot of unnecessary procedures, both for herself and her children.

WENDY: Of course we don’t know you, this is the internet. But this is an online forum, and the only way we can make guesses about your intelligence and character are by your comments. When you make a comment that makes it clear that you regard doctors to be above reproach based upon thae “MD” after their names, well, one can only assume your intelligence is not very high.

MARY:  Its American doctors, they are just not very educated in intact care, their business is making money off circumcisions, that’s all.
The other 80% of the worlds male populace are intact, and every other country understands intact care, which is very simple… Clean like a finger end of story and understand the function and know it is a separate functioning organ. 

MARY: I only seen facts being shared, to dispel harmful misguided advice, that can cause unnecessary complications, no one us being a sanctimommy….
It would be no different than providing information and facts why aspirin and vodka can be harmful when taken together…

CHERIMary (Last name) my sons doctor told me to retract and I told her the same and gave her the above website and FB page and needless to say she then was correctly informed from then on out what not to do when an intact baby came to see her.

Really? Your doctor with 8 + years of education and training all the sudden changed her mind because YOU showed her a website you got off Facebook? That’s fucking rich!

4) Intactivists are more obsessed with the dick than Harvey Fierstein on ecstasy and Viagra. No, FOR REALZ… really really obsessed. On their pages, they share pictures of un-circumcised penises in all their anteater glory. (They prefer to call them intact, or whole penises, because when you aim to change language, you change thought. I’m paraphrasing Orwell here).

They believe that men who’ve been circumcised at birth are permanently traumatized by the event. They think circumcised men have unfulfilling sex lives, hate their parents and are greatly psychologically affected by not having a foreskin. Let’s be honest. I’ve dated both circumcised and uncircumcised dudes. Not a single one–NOT ONE–lamented about their foreskin or lack there of. Most men (99.99999%) DON’T GIVE A SHIT.  They just want a warm, wet hole to stick it in. That’s why the majority of online intactivists are women and the rest are men who hate their parents and are looking for an excuse to self-loathe. Just check out this self-loather, lamenting the loss of his foreskin on his back windshield:


This guy’s problems are bigger than the loss of his foreskin–he’s a Steelers fan.

5) Intactivists care a lot about what other people do. It’s none of my business or your business what someone chooses to do with their son’s penis. I don’t care if you don’t want to circumcise. But somehow, intactivists really care if I choose to circumcise. Many intactivists are also anti-vaccination (not all) and will scream “my kid, my choice” when it comes to vaccination, but will want to break out the tar and the feathers if you choose differently from them.  There is no need to proclaim your son is uncircumcised to the world in the form of a onesie or bumper sticker. There is also no need to berate other parents if they choose to do it. In fact, your obsession with what I do with my son’s genitals is creepy–and you need another hobby.  You don’t like circumcision, DON’T DO IT. Stop trying to impose your beliefs on others. END. OF. STORY.