Intactivists are Dicks

i_heart_his_foreskin_bumper_sticker

Proudly display this sticker on your bumper and hope your neighbors don’t think you’re a sex offender.

When I became a mom, I started liking several mommy pages on Facebook. I am beginning to regret that decision. For one, people ask the stupidest questions. When people ask for advice, and you give them sound advice because you are knowledgable in that area, your good advice gets ignored. If someone such as the original poster does not like your advice, it’s called “bashing.”  Basically, mommy pages are hives for mothers to get validation for their poor life choices and to get all sanctimonious with each other–especially when it comes to topics such as vaccines, car seats (I know, why argue about fucking car seats???) and lastly, circumcision.

Let’s get some things straight before I get some more hate mail.

1) THIS IS NOT A CIRCUMCISION DEBATE. If you post some intactivist propaganda comparing routine male infant circumcision to female genital cutting, your ignorant, asinine comment will be deleted. This is an insult to any woman who has actually suffered through FGM. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME. Maybe if you took some basic anatomy, you’d realize they are not the same.

This article is specifically about the anti-circumcision nutjobs that call themselves “intactivists”. They call themselves this because “circumcision” is a dirty word, and they want to dictate not only your language, but what you do with your son’s genitals.

2) We chose to circumcise our son, and that SHOULD NOT concern you. However, intactivists are very concerned about the penises of other children, to the point of being weird.  They post misleading and often outright lies to try to get their agenda across. And please, can someone tell me why they compare the right to have a foreskin to the fourteenth amendment of the United States?

(Here is just a sampling of the lengths these nutjobs go to. I got these responses after I told the group that I dislike the circumcision debate being brought up on mommy pages because it brings out the worst in people and everyone thinks they are an expert. Well, they proved me right.)

WENDY: No, Nikki, what’s creepy (and twisted) is cutting off a piece of another person’s anatomy against their wishes! And thinking it’s somehow your right because you are the parent. If you live in the U.S., your parents had the same perceived right to pour carbolic acid on your clitoris. Aren’t you glad they didn’t exercise that one? 

WENDY: No, hoping the current laws begin to be enforced! It IS illegal to remove healthy, functioning pieces from a person without their consent. It IS illegal to knowingly cause harm to another person against their wishes. It IS illegal to alter a girl’s genitals, and the 14th amendment guarantees that any protections afforded one class of people must automatically be given to another.

MARY: Well, that bit Nikki (last name), it IS technically already illegal. Female circumcision was banned due to human rights violations in 1996, the 14th amendment provides equal protection for everyone regardless of sex rsce or creed… Meaning the law banning circumcision is suppose to apply to male and female infants.

Bitches need a fucking history and civics lesson! The constitution applies to the government of the US, not private doctors or parents. When people crow “freedom of speech”, the 1st amendment just guarantees that your government does not infringe upon that right, not a private person or entity. I hate it when people copy and paste a groups’ talking points to justify their argument, especially when they have no clue what they are copying and pasting about.

3) Like anti-vaxxers, they somehow know more than doctors and scientists, and proclaim it loudly and with poor grammar on Facebook threads.

WENDY:  I guess Winter thinks doctors are infallible. I feel sorry for her, as she’s going to acquiesce to a lot of unnecessary procedures, both for herself and her children.

WENDY: Of course we don’t know you, this is the internet. But this is an online forum, and the only way we can make guesses about your intelligence and character are by your comments. When you make a comment that makes it clear that you regard doctors to be above reproach based upon thae “MD” after their names, well, one can only assume your intelligence is not very high.

MARY:  Its American doctors, they are just not very educated in intact care, their business is making money off circumcisions, that’s all.
The other 80% of the worlds male populace are intact, and every other country understands intact care, which is very simple… Clean like a finger end of story and understand the function and know it is a separate functioning organ. 

MARY: I only seen facts being shared, to dispel harmful misguided advice, that can cause unnecessary complications, no one us being a sanctimommy….
It would be no different than providing information and facts why aspirin and vodka can be harmful when taken together…

CHERIMary (Last name) my sons doctor told me to retract and I told her the same and gave her the above website and FB page and needless to say she then was correctly informed from then on out what not to do when an intact baby came to see her.

Really? Your doctor with 8 + years of education and training all the sudden changed her mind because YOU showed her a website you got off Facebook? That’s fucking rich!

4) Intactivists are more obsessed with the dick than Harvey Fierstein on ecstasy and Viagra. No, FOR REALZ… really really obsessed. On their pages, they share pictures of un-circumcised penises in all their anteater glory. (They prefer to call them intact, or whole penises, because when you aim to change language, you change thought. I’m paraphrasing Orwell here).

They believe that men who’ve been circumcised at birth are permanently traumatized by the event. They think circumcised men have unfulfilling sex lives, hate their parents and are greatly psychologically affected by not having a foreskin. Let’s be honest. I’ve dated both circumcised and uncircumcised dudes. Not a single one–NOT ONE–lamented about their foreskin or lack there of. Most men (99.99999%) DON’T GIVE A SHIT.  They just want a warm, wet hole to stick it in. That’s why the majority of online intactivists are women and the rest are men who hate their parents and are looking for an excuse to self-loathe. Just check out this self-loather, lamenting the loss of his foreskin on his back windshield:

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This guy’s problems are bigger than the loss of his foreskin–he’s a Steelers fan.

5) Intactivists care a lot about what other people do. It’s none of my business or your business what someone chooses to do with their son’s penis. I don’t care if you don’t want to circumcise. But somehow, intactivists really care if I choose to circumcise. Many intactivists are also anti-vaccination (not all) and will scream “my kid, my choice” when it comes to vaccination, but will want to break out the tar and the feathers if you choose differently from them.  There is no need to proclaim your son is uncircumcised to the world in the form of a onesie or bumper sticker. There is also no need to berate other parents if they choose to do it. In fact, your obsession with what I do with my son’s genitals is creepy–and you need another hobby.  You don’t like circumcision, DON’T DO IT. Stop trying to impose your beliefs on others. END. OF. STORY.

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